去留

“去留”

每年执教的美术班学生少说也有十多班，每每大家已有相当默契的时候课程便接近尾声， 结束的那一天对于已熟记名字的学生们我会有点不舍。这种体验一年有无数次，周而复始地持续了十来年，情感上确实有点疲惫。

People come and people go; that may be sad, but that’s a plain fact of human relationship. Have been teaching western painting for many years and each year, I see more than 10 classes of both young and adult students. Often when we have a considerable understanding of each other such as be acquainted with people you identify with and your frequency matches so well and that you are comfortable sharing your thoughts with them; it’s near the end of the course. On the last day, bracing myself for all the hellos and goodbye’s can be difficult even though that someone may have stayed in my lives for just a few weeks. Well, I’m truly a little exhausted emotionally after been subjected to this never ending series of “goodbyes” several times a year in the last 10 years…

年轻时当兵做全副武装的障碍赛测验，矮小的同志在眼前摔倒，哀叫声让我停下并准备去拉他一把，可是军士长严肃地大声驱赶着要我继续前进。我只好留下面带痛苦、趴在原地的他，但他那期求的眼神叫我难忘。

Sometimes circumstances can create an inevitable rift between intention and reality. I remembered in one of our obstacle test during days in the army; I felt awful and I’m prepared to give a tug to the comrade who’s shorter and slighter in figure that tumble and fell in front of me। However, the warrant officer sternly drives me to move on. I have to leave but I will never forget the pleading look on the young man….

记得有一回，从父母那儿欲回咫尺之遥的自己家里，母亲突然杀出一句叫我多呆一会儿的一句话，让我没时间回家办事。。。这沉重的记忆偶尔触碰我，叫我感触良多，因为母亲已不在人世。

Losing my parents was the most devastating event of my life; nevertheless we move on but some memories never fade away …knowing I would not have time to handle matters but I could not defy mother’s plea for me to stay on longer whenever I visited my parents…

如今甚少与人有眼球接触，就是想避开这种感觉。。然而，在他人的道别声中却也能听出些许不舍，于是赶忙收拾心情再以轻松的语调说再见。

These days, I tried to avoid eye contact with anyone so I would not have a chance to hold on to anyone or anything….however, the goodbyes are still uncomfortable and they make me uneasy....

那天，在组屋楼下带回四只被遗弃的小猫，它们两黑两白、活泼可爱。由于屋子容不下全数，便赶紧上网让他人来领养小猫们。被领走一只时心里有点不舍，但由于对小猫还不是很熟络，故也没那般失落。但几天下来与猫儿相处并开始认识它们各别的性格后，我们竟然反悔不回复有兴趣者的来电，决定将三只小猫留下来，看看它们的成长。

Life throws surprises at us, good and bad; it’s all in how we take them …that day, we found four abandoned kittens; two black two white, extremely lively and adorable. Right away, we put up an adoption ad in the internet as our unit are really too small to keep all four. When one of the kitty was taken, it does hurt but at the same time we are happy the kitty found a good home. Now, the other three kittens continue to live with us for they have already leave footprints in our heart and we can’t bear to see them go….